and then

I was in a store and a guy was telling me how amazing glue sticks are, like how innovative new technologies chicken doodles.
And I was like ya I know about glue sticks
and he was like oh if you want a double adhesive though, use this too
and he pulled out a $9 bottle of rubber cement, and I was like
uh ya I know about that and $9 is too much

so I found Sharon standing by the candy and told her about the bottle
and she said (in a Chex voice) Oh ya I'm not paying $9 for rubber cement

netty pot

Whoa.
ok so
Last night was very unrestful, perhaps because I fell asleep in a turtleneck and sweatshirt and jeans.
I had one dream that I was at a football game, sitting in the stands, and my nose was running profusely. I blew it in tissues and on sleeves and it wouldn't stop, so I hid under my seat and dug for scraps to keep blowing my nose in. I think I used some napkins, and then in a paper plate.
Then, my boss called me, and I walked several laps around the stadium with my snotty plate.

Then I had another dream where I couldn't get my socks off. It was really difficult, I spent hours trying to get them off.
I thought it might have been real, but when I woke up I was still fully clothed. So I changed from my turtleneck into a tshirt and went back to sleep.

The other night I had a dream that Elaine was making a BLT, with an aerosol can of bacon.
Meaning, someone invented aerosol bacon!

the great train robbery

Last night I came down to the no parents no rules party, and spent the night in Point Pleasant. I think the different bed, plus my afternoon's adventures with Chelsea, lead to a dream where I was on a quest for a rootbeer float.

Someone and I were at a hunting supply store, on the walls were bullets and camouflage vests and boots and guns, but in the corner were snacks. This friend and I decided it would be a good idea to steal rootbeer from this place, and also a pack of gum each. We each had the goods, and went in some virtual shooting range room to put it in our back packs. I saw a camera and babied out, while my friend insisted it was ok. We left the secret room and went back into the main store, where the workers seemed suspicious. My friend told me to watch how it worked.
He put his backpack on and bolted out the door.
Everyone in the store chased him out.
I didn't know what to do, surely he'd be arrested for stealing the rootbeer and Wrigleys.

I tried to casually walk out of the store, and wandered aimlessly around the neighborhood hoping not to be recognized. Those gun clerks were crazy. Thanks to his rash move, I got away scotch free with my rootbeer and gum out of the hunting store. I was too shaken up to make the float, though.

I didn't hear from my friend until about a month later, when we ran into each other at the horse racing track. The horse I was betting on wore a pink flowered lei.
Somehow we avoided talking about the rootbeer incident. Instead, we walked to some sort of bog and I think sunk in a little.

Oh, my horse lost. There was wayy too much drag with that dumb lei.

So, I was making a movie adaptation of a book, something based on a true story about some sort of paranormal pod that landed in a family's house, and was taken to NASA head quarters for investigation. I was doing research, interviewing the father of the family, when I got sucked into the action and was actually taking part in whatever happened.
When the pod landed at the house, the family was just coming home, the mother, father, and 3 young daughters. All 5 of them had just dropped acid, and upon pulling into the driveway and seeing the pod in their yard, they all freaked out. I mean, it was clear it was something strange that was going to mess with their family somehow, but they were also tripping, so, ya' know..
I freaked out with them. I dove for pillows, and we were all screaming. I think the little girls were the best at it.

Turns out, this pod flew away into space before NASA could get any definitive information from it.

=

oi oi oi

Last night I had a dream that I was walking down Easton Ave looking for some sort of party, but it was busted by the cops. Except it was 3 PM and the party was full of middle aged people fleeing.

I also went to some diner/pizza place to get mozzarella sticks, and somehow they charged me $40, and it was cause they were trying to give me 2 pizzas and some burgers and other stuff, so I was like no no no, just the sticks. And the lady at the counter gave me attitude, but I got just the sticks. And then the next person behind me ordered mozzarella sticks too.

a quickie

After an extended weekend away from Courtlandtland, I just dozed off in the living room.

I was in a car commercial with Steve Urkel. He was singing a song out to the ladies from Shaft. Then Will Smith popped out from under ground, wearing a diamond studded sash, with all the ladies Urkel was singing for.

Glad to be home.

seriously, what's with the Lion King?

Last night I had a dream that I was wandering around some public transportation facility, and I guess I had just taken a shower so I was in a towel. I passed by some performers, ones who play music and put out a hat, etc. They were the most lethargic team of musicians I had ever seen; there were 5 of them, and they were all sprawled about on a single couch, literally piled vertically on top of each other. Their couch was at the bottom of an escalator, and next to their money hat they had a sign indicating that they were a Disney musical cover band.

As I came down the escalator, I saw them and thought it was funny. They noticed me and mumbled something to each other, then began an a cappella rendition of "Can You Feel the Love Tonight" (the movie version, not the Elton John) Except none of them moved, they were all still just lying there lazily as they sang.

I thought to myself "Wow, I am clearly not in New York. These guys are small time."

I kept walking, even though they were clearly performing for me. But I was in a towel, and had no intention of paying them, what was I suppossed to do? The "lead singer" followed me, trying to engage me by grabbing my hair. I ran down the hall and went into a women's bathroom, as they continued to sing.

For some reason, all the toilets were filled with coffee grinds, which turned me off a little. But they performer started opening the door (he was now on the 2nd verse, where Simba comes in). So, I locked myself in a coffee stall.

Luckily, at that moment the next door neighbor's weed wacker woke me up.


Which reminds me, why do they have to do that every Friday morning?! We should call the cops, maybe they'll make me cookies this time. Or hot dogs.

dreamy biz

The other week I had a dream, where Courtlandtland (season 1) was throwing a party that for some reason wasn't going over well. We ended up doing a dance routine on our front lawn, which was a football field, to "I just can't wait to be King" from the Lion King. Caity did an especially awesome dance. Everyone stormed the field, and it ended up being awesome.
Then I had a dream where I was at a stadium seeing the pope and the dali lama, and people were dying crowd surfing. I made it stop, and the pope rewarded me with a hot dog and 4 Piels that he bummed from the Dali Lama.
That same night, I had one where I was fighting ninjas with Alex Mac, the one from Nickelodeon that can change into liquid and slither around. She's terrible to have on your team, cause she just keeps melting and running away. Whadda jerk.

Anyway, this all inspired me to make a blog, exclusively with my dreams.


So, yesterday, I was on the train to Hoboken, and I dozed off. I had a dream where Avril Levine was playing on loop through the whole thing (Hey hey, you you I don't like your girlfriend!). It was in a club-like situation, and someone was force feeding me jellyfish tenticles (if that's what they're called? You know, the dangly parts that sting you) I was trying to resist, cause who wants to do that, but when I finally gave in I was filled with electric blue, all in my esophagus and through my body, and I had an Electric Blue rave to Avril.